Bizarre Bazaar

A while back, in an email to my best friend, I accidentally misused the word “bizarre.”  I wrote something like “My grandma used to go to craft bizarres.”

My friend replied, “Craft bizarre? Are you sure it wasn’t… Craft BAZAAR???  I think you may have just made my Facebook status with that one. But the Facebook mockery (I mean flattery) will have to wait until tomorrow night. I think I might go take an hour nap on the couch before I resume work.”*

*I left this line in on purpose in order to make her appear lazy.  Revenge is sweet.

She’s the kind of friend who doesn’t lie, ever.

When I asked this friend what I could do to improve my blog, she instructed me to purchase a grammar book.

She’s also available to tell you that you do, in fact, look fat in your jeans.

Then, in the paper, I saw this headline: “Cops Detain Two Suspects in Bazaar Shooting.”  Surely they meant to print “Bizarre Shooting.”  At first, I was thrilled that someone else, a journalism professional, made a similar mistake!  Maybe I’m not so dumb if other people forget it’s a homonym, too.  Two seconds later, I questioned my decision to remain loyal to printed news.  If the paper can’t afford to hire writers who have read the grammar book my friend told me to order, who are they employing?

But then I read the full article and realized that the headline was correct because—get this—the shooting took place at the Big T. Bazaar shopping center in east Dallas.  It was indeed a “Bazaar Shooting” under not-so-bizarre circumstances.  It was just a regular ol’ drug money fight.  Too bad it wasn’t a gun fight between time-traveling transgender aliens battling for control of supernatural plasma and the right to procreate with Barry Manilow.  Then we would have had a Bizarre Bazaar Shooting on our hands.  It makes me sad that the criminals passed up this opportunity.  Couldn’t one of them have done something a little weirder?  Of course, we could always go down to the Big T. Bazaar and stage something….any volunteers?  Barry?

If you have any ideas, please post them in the comments section below.  Let’s discuss.